Some time ago, a long long time ago, I don’t exactly know how much, not really a perfection chaser, me, nevertheless an undisclosed amount of time ago, there lived this really really old man called Bord Ghistaker. Now don’t look at me like that, that was his name, as he told it to me. What do you expect me to do? Change it because it isn’t pretty? You should have heard what he called me, you’d be vomiting all week. Anyway. So, this Bord fellow came up to me when I was on my usual late-evening walk to the end of the universe. “Howdy, I’m Bord Ghistaker,” he says to me. I looked at him like he was a madman, well he certainly looked like a madman and sounded like one. Who says Howdy in India? Except, of course, really rich people who pretend they’re foreigners because they’ve been drunk for around 60 years. He says, “Howdy” and I, well, blurted something back. Don’t remember what it was, I think it was an innocent “What’s up” He looked hard at me. Yes, hard. He actually, looked hard. If he’d looked any harder, there’d be scratch marks on my face. He continued for a while, I allowed him. No one looks at me anyway, so it was a welcome change. After what seemed like 5 minutes, might have been 50 seconds, might have been 5 hours, who knows, he says to me, “You look familiar, do I know you?” I hadn’t seen this man before in my life, so I very normally said, “No” He said “Okay” and went away. And, well, I carried on with my late-evening walk to the end of the universe.
Anyway, the point of this post: did you know that the Earth is so full of bacteria, to any outsider, it’d look like the human race was an infestation?
You know, like, Americans.
